Well, you'll be happy to know that on the Easter holidays, while the kids were interrupting me, I couldn't do any higher thinking. So I read the first book of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. And since Thyra likes to spread her pain about, I figured I'd do some funny insights about what I learned from this book, and about SVM in the process. I'm not going to give page numbers. I read this on my Kindle, so I just don't care enough to make it exact. Search the words in your Kindle or on Google. This is not a post where the quotes in context actually might matter to you.
WARNING: CONTAINS SNARK AND SALTY TALK. BDB FANS AND THOSE OF DELICATE SENSIBILITIES READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.1. Male Body Proportions and "You married a guy around your height, didn't you?"
I am 5'5.5" (the .5" is important when you're this short) and Mr. Minty is 6'. You know what I can't do? I can't kiss him on the mouth without his consent unless I stand waiting on a kitchen chair and crash tackle kiss him as he goes past. I can't:
"And then she lifted up onto her tiptoes and put her lips to his."
That's what I can't do.
The difference between 5'5.5" and 6' is 6.5 inches. The difference between 5'9" and 6'6" is 9 inches. You've got to be kidding me. You've got no hope of kissing that man on his mouth without his co-operation. Yes,
Mr. Minty always co-operates, but you can't tell me you can surprise a guy like that with a kiss on his lips. Unless "lips" is code for "nipples" or "cock".
Even though there's not a huge difference in height between Mr. Minty and I, I always
notice you must have married a man around your height if you do this. There are things some writers take for granted when they create these pairings, and one them is surprise kisses. Yes, yes, I understand that it's a whole "tall men are the sexiest men in the world" but this is completely bullshit. Shit, could just one
of you roleplay this with a compliant 6'6" guy? Otherwise, Ima see him as a 5'1" wonder who could picked up and twirled at will...or the female heroine who is on tippy toes has freaking flippers. Which would perfectly suit her to the guy she's describing.
This quote was by far, the most hilarious quote I've read in a while:
"Shoulders were twice the size of most males."
You're aware, right, that the average shoulder size for men is 18 inches. Meaning that this dude, while being a static height, actually has to have 36 inch shoulders. Well, behold your lovely freak guy:
But wait! There's more!
"He was tremendous, his shoulders wide as I beams, his legs as thick as her torso."
"And, ah, could you get me some boxers? Black? XXL?"
He's looking better all the time!:
Oh, and before you point out that this picture makes him look freakish because it doesn't put him in proportion? Well that's because it is
in proportion, as stated by the book. His shoulders are only as wide as I-beams - which according to engineers
, the standard depth is 50cm. Those things aren't very big, really, and that's an awful lot of shoulder in there.
But then we've got to fix him some more!
"his arms as big as her thighs"
I don't think this heroine has fat thighs, since most of the time every single male is commenting on how hot she is. So I'm going to go with what looks somewhat
in proportion to this freaky body.
Seriously, this guy sounds awful.
I had to keep reading out the descriptions to my kids and my husband. They're pretty hilariously bad. And Mr. Minty had this to say when I pointed out the shoulders, and the fact that he's 6'6", and that he's 275 pounds at least.
Mr. Minty: With shoulders that size, what is he made of? Papier mache?
There is a time and a place for hyperbole. When you're describing a man's body, that's not it. It leads to all kinds of stuff-ups:
"abdomen was ribbed as if he were smuggling paint rollers under his skin."
I've seen paint rollers. They're kinda big. They're also kinda long. I'm presuming here that's she's not talking about any kind of tiny artist's ones, but rather real paint rollers. So this is what you get:
I looked around too to see if bodybuilders routinely did this:
"wing chair, his big body overflowing the arms and dwarfing the high back."
Yeah, that freak doesn't exist. Unless this is a kiddie chair, in which case the whole dwarfing thing doesn't happen.
I get that a lot of women probably don't really try and picture this guy in some particular way, and rather just go with whoever they think is the hottest guy closest to the description and don't keep track of what the author writes. She's really relying on your laziness to get away with her hyperbole. Based on my google searches for a bodybuilder in a wing back chair, I'd say Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is probably a popular stand-in for the freak described in these pages.
Mr. Minty also made me laugh when I pointed out that he was getting fitted for a suit, and I couldn't think that he would look anything like but a bear in shoes - hilarious, uncomfortable and ill-fitting. This is what Mr. Minty said:
He's getting fitted for a suit in a camping store.
The descriptions are generally uncomfortable, and they changed. For example, his hair got longer (an indication to me that you married a man with short hair):
"his great arms supporting his weight above her. His long
dark hair fell around her, mingling with her own."
Wrath is described in the beginning as having shoulder length hair. Your hair needs to be longer than shoulder length, because all this
length of hair is going to do is get in your mouth while you're kissing. It's certainly not going to mingle with your own, particularly if he's up there on his arms. It's probably just going to get in his
mouth. Hair moves when you fuck, particularly if it's long.
Oh, and whoa boy did I have issues with the description of Wrath's cock. It was in proportion with the rest of him? Really? Because this is what I imagined when I read that:
The rest of his proportions are screwy. It also changed where it was on his body. I couldn't for the life of me figure this one out. They're spooning, with Wrath lying behind Beth:
"His erection, heavy and hot, lay against her hip."
How the fuck? is my note. That should
be touching her arse.
And that's still what I'm wondering - how the fuck? Here's another instance of not knowing shit about anatomy:
"A melon baller. For the eyes."
This is far too small. The eyes are connected to the brain - and they shrink back into the head when you press them. You'd have to try really hard to use a melon baller on the eyes, and it wouldn't really work. You'd probably end up trying to do it, drive the melon baller into their brain because you used force, and then get gunk all over your hands. This is inept at best. Sounds good, works shit.
It still surprises me that most of the bitches who bitch about continuity errors and issues with CH's books are perfectly willing to overlook these epic screw-ups. I've seen many of them raving over how BDB is sooooo
much better than SVM, and the author has the characters downpat, and writes well. You have got
to be kidding me. By the way, I see this shit all the time in fanfic. You need to remember where his dick is, ladies. Otherwise some people will notice your bizarre origami sex positions, and laugh at you.2. This Manpire is a Jerk
My first hilarity was this:
"Whether it was a chair, a table, a human, he'd just walk over the damn thing."
Oh man. I tried to imagine that. Some arrogant jerkoff walking through a bar with tangles of shit around his legs, and squishing the occasional small granny or disabled person who couldn't move fast enough. Then I considered that maybe he loves parkour
. Lol - either one is hilarious to imagine. It's particularly hilarious if you've seen the following image clip:
I sat there giggling for a bit. It kinda ruined the whole tough man image to imagine such a ludicrous fuck doing such arrogant and stupid shit. Like he doesn't have any actual ability other than HULK SMASH.
And then that was later exacerbated by the whining of the dude that walks over people:
"Try persecuted minority."
These vampires are a persecuted minority? Sounds like the real
persecuted minority is the people who have their backs to the door when Wrath walks in, because dammit, that man will bulldoze you with a sneer. Made even
worse as I realised over time that he was actually blind, and didn't have some weird night vision vampire thing going on. Because that's hot apparently - the blind bodybuilder just barging through crowds without a care for the safety of others. And with such wide shoulders too. So silly.
I also laughed at his fashion choices. At one point he wore a black shirt, black jacket and black pants. But thought of himself:
Good God, he probably looked like a lawyer.
Lawyers wear something business-like and tasteful. You, Wrath, merely look like the stock-standard douchebag there is in every
bar. You're not supposed to wear all black - no matter how cool you think you look. It's fashion faux pas
and only men who can't colour co-ordinate use this style. Lawyers have more sense than this, and don't want to look like douchebags. Nothing wrong with a crisp white shirt unless you're a tryhard constantly wearing black as your colour. Hell, goths don't even do that unless they're also douchebags. Nice bit of blood red, a frilly lacy white shirt, etc. and they're good.
But this guy shows more of his jerkery through the whole text. With the whole Wrath will crush every tiny human who doesn't move fast enough, did we really need the escalation on a guy who - we're told - is bad news from the start?:
The female did something to his brain. Somehow managed to unplug his
well-developed self-control and put him in touch with his inner fricking psycho.
I don't see how bulldozing through bar patrons is well-developed self-control, but that's maybe because I'm actually imagining other people in the shot, rather than what would make a man sound as butch as possible. The shit Wrath believes about himself? Is mostly not true. He did actually go into hysterics when another man kissed her - and tried to kill him:
"Wrath was a lot of things. But he sure wasn't the hysterical type."
Just because it's growly and butch doesn't make him less hysterical. Hysterical is uncontrolled extreme emotion. Trying to murder someone for a lip press is the very definition
of hysterical. Way to overreact, abusive stalker man. He wasn't particularly controlled when he was with her, either:
"He shook her until her hair tangled."
That's...a lot of shaking. She may get actual brain damage from that much shaking. Of course, most of the stuff is written without concern for what would happen to a real person. It's a little bit concerning to read in romance, really, because it can lead to real live people getting hurt. Talking about women's bodies as ragdolls can lead to women getting hurt
. There is a really dangerous undercurrent in romance, where men hurt women, and the women are no less worse for wear. They shrug that off as if it's nothing.
That's one of the things I like best about Sookie - if someone squeezes her hard, someone bites her hard, there's no illusion that it does a fuckload of damage or that it hurts. Yes, it's not pretty or sexy. But here's the important bit - GETTING HURT ISN'T SEXY.
So many times I'll read about something happening in a fanfic, or a book like this, and think, "Man, you've never been subjected to even a little bit of violence, have you?" So why the fuck would you write about something you haven't experienced - something that HURTS PEOPLE.
I can understand writing from the position of "Your husband is your height" and wanting to make him the very image many women believe is sexy. It won't actually hurt their feelings if they find they can't kiss their husband on the mouth without his agreement. It will
hurt women if you write things that hurt and then minimise
them. But luckily it leaves me open to talk about the next theme.3. Rhape Brothers
This is what I called them halfway through the book. Let me say, those names are confusing. When I first read about the names, I couldn't decide if they were emotions or people. Not all of the names have an extra "H" added to them, and so, if I read about an emotion at the start of the sentence, I couldn't decide if it was a person or an emotion. I was also waiting for a brother called "Rhapist", because there were a lot of rapey themes in this book - like stuff that lead me to believe this particular book, they were on a rape sabbatical, but would return to their regular raping schedule right after.
Let's ignore that he couldn't bear to do things to his wife (or whatever the fuck it's called) but he's fine with doing them to other women:
"He couldn't imagine putting Marissa through the things he'd done to other female bodies."
The mind boggled at this. What, rape and kill them? This does not sound sexy or enticing. This sounds ominous. If Wrath had said he couldn't imagine taking pleasure in Marissa, that wouldn't be. Of course, I was more sure when I weighed the rest of the book that Wrath is probably a rapist. Because this is the only uses he has for humans a la Trainspotting's Begbie, who won't get out of his fucking way
"As far as he was concerned, there were only two good positions for a human.
A female on her back. And a male facedown and not breathing."
Considering he stomps people, and considering that he considers human women only good on their backs - well, my rape-o-meter was in the red. Particularly considering that humans are largely faceless to him, and don't matter - and he's left Zsadist alone with women he doesn't give a shit about:
"Well, and a couple of the brothers are just flat-out dangerous. You wouldn't
want to leave any female alone with them, at least not one you cared about."
Okay, WHAT THE FUCK.
Seriously, even if you hate a person, you don't LEAVE THEM TO GET RAPED.
This is insanity. How the fuck
is this romantic? How does this make a man an admirable love interest? He'll let random women get raped, as long as he doesn't have to tell his friend not to rape people, or inconvenience his poor mate? I don't know how this guy is allowed to continue on his predatory rampage, when he's pretty damn open about what his intentions are:
"So I'll flip her a twenty. Assuming she lives through the sex."
Charming. Well, at least Zsadist fits him. Although it should be Zsadistic Rapist. That's the guys who rape and kill their victims - who are worse than the guy in the start. The guys in the start, who almost raped Beth? They just pinched her nipple. They didn't bite it off like Zsadist is likely to. Because when you get fucked to death, it's not through pleasure, and the damage isn't solely to just the vagina. Oh, and I did like the inference that a whore is worth only
$20 if you want to kill her. So an insulting
sadistic rapist who really devalues women.
Not that Wrath has been particularly torn up about it:
"But I'm not going to tolerate human casualties the same way
I used to, and not just because it risks our exposure."
What, you mean hundreds of years, and finally now
you're seeing the light on why it's not cool to let some poor woman get raped and killed because you couldn't give a shit. Maybe women aren't included in that, since he doesn't seem to see any value in women generally.
This was the most baffling part of the books, honestly. I kept thinking "How can you have this rapist who kills his victims and be okay with that?" Like, why didn't he make it his job that if he needed Zsadist to fight, he at least did these poor women a favour and made sure Zsadist is under heavy watch the rest of the time. I mean, you leave this dude alone with a woman in a room for a minute, and he's already thinking about the ways in which he can rape her to death, and ready to act. And what, now we're supposed to clap hands for Wrath that he's no longer going to turn a blind eye to the horrific rapes he's on the fence about. Shit - people should be held to higher standards than that. If not, I want praise for 38 years of NOT RAPING PEOPLE. Decent behaviour that doesn't kill or seriously injure someone doesn't deserve praise.
Now look, I see the fact that Eric let Tara to go to her death with Mickey as similar. But then Eric doesn't try to say that he's a lovely guy, and Sookie never seems to indicate he should be praised for being not a rapist. In fact, that's one of the key complaints - that CH doesn't praise Eric as the be-all and end-all of romantic heroes. I think that shows us a chilling tale - of how we're happy to let women get hurt, as long as we don't care about them. It's fine if say, Ginger gets kicked across Fangtasia, because really, barring a few, no one gives a shit. CH, Sookie, and hell even Eric, don't make the mistake of making out like Eric is some nice guy. He just doesn't give a shit. And he's not made out to be a romantic hero. He's in the wrong genre.
It shows me that all a man has to do to be considered "hot" is just make a few mealy mouth apologies about how he's totally fine with one of his friends being a rapist, and that he might eventually see the light. I also - as a result - found it hard to root for the vampires. Why the fuck would anyone be on the rapists' side? So I wasn't. Even though there's these evil vampire slayers, one of whom is an attempted rapist of Beth, uh, why would I want to side with any of them. Yes, rape is an easy device to get your character hated (waves to Bill, jacking it in the bushes) but hey, you need to make your heroes NOT RAPISTS
in order to actually use that device. I was kinda on the side of the vampire slayers really - they killed two prostitutes to draw out the vampires, but shit, Zsadist is killing how many women? And not because of some great plan to defeat his enemy, but just because he sees them without value - $20 and you can rape any random woman who crosses your path to death according to him.4. Yo, This Shit is Tiresome
The whole ritualistic thing? Oh man, what a boring lifestyle. The amount of arsekissing that goes on in this story is unbelievable. We have the pointless ceremony with the kneeling for his fallen comrade. We have all kinds of bullshit about the totally lame King bullshit that Wrath has to do, but can't seem to quite grasp. Like, he's totally on his own case for being a coward, but as soon as he decides to actually King, the endless. fucking. toadying. oh my god:
"And then one by one, they came up to the bed and swore their fealty
in the old language, taking his hand, kissing the inside of his wrist."
Christ, I was waiting for the ritual to thank the King for eating toast that morning. For men who are in the grip of toxic masculinity, they sure did like to do prissy things. The whole concept of the vampires sitting down to their feast with delicate china, like they were gents from the 1800's enjoying a full tea service:
"Seeing a bunch of guys who looked like violent offenders sitting
around a table set with silver and china was incongruous enough."
Yeah, like junkyard dogs having a tea party. These bizarre things these men were doing - with other men. Yes, yes, men always love to use our shower gels, and they love a face mask or two, and they enjoy eating Brie and doing traditionally "girly" things. Some guys like knitting and stuff. But these guys - the Rhape Brothers? They're too busy slapping each other's backs and wearing singlets. And they wander round in groups. I was waiting for one of them to lead all the rest of them to the toilet together.
The men's identities were a hot mess of ultra-violent masculine traits, and a lot of feminine traits. Like fine with raping, but also want to have high tea. Do I mind feminine traits in men? Not at all. But they usually come from gentle
men with a talent for self-reflection, not rampaging rapists who are like bulls in a china shop. It's almost as if this was all female leads, and then to make them "men" she just tossed some raping on top. Like men can be defined as being rapists, and that's the only real way to differentiate them from women.
Which, is completely insulting to men and
women. I can tell you, there are female rapists. Rarer than male rapists, but that's not the cause of the divide of the sexes. It's not like one is "Men, better known as the Raping Gender" whereas the other is "Women, better known as the Rape Victim Gender". Remember - both men and women can be full characters
. Not only that, but almost every single male character has these double standards for rapists. Fine if it's a brother who rapes, kill someone (who's not Zsadist) for thinking about raping Beth. It even sullies Butch, who doesn't have a reason as to why it's okay if Zsadist rapes women to death for the sake of the vampire race:
"Vampires or not, he understood these guys. They spoke his language.
Related to the world like he did. He felt comfortable around them."
Wait, didn't he want to kill rapists in a totally vindhictive and revenghe kind of way? Lol - see what I did there
. This is the guy against rapists, but five minutes communing with some rapists and murderers, and Butch is now fine with them? Yak. He'll probably go on a bathroom trip with them all now, since they're constantly buddy-buddy with each other.5. Nonsensical Female Lead
This is where I saw the most similarity to what readers seem to want Sookie to be. With the rather milquetoast Mary Sue, Beth. For the first part, I see an all too familiar trope of the woman stuffing her face with crap. Beth ate no actual meals during the course of the book - that's right, it was all junk food. Lollies, cake, biscuits, mac and cheese. Beef with broccoli mentioned, but never actually
Some of this is fine in moderation. I've been known to have mac and cheese as a fun thing. What's completely weird is the eating of all the other crap. Now, I think I know why this features so heavily in romance. It's all about body image, and eating habits. Women are constantly feeling like they should eat only salads, and work out for a few hours a day. Romance provides an escape from that tyranny. The female lead always eats shit, and she always has a perfect figure and flawless skin. This is just as much a dream as the 'perfect' mutant she's with. That a woman would be free to live solely on chocolate cake, and never have any bad effects.
It's not really a bad thing, as much as it's a sad indication of what we do to women - that eating food that is bad for you is kind of a wish-fulfilment type dealie. That one of the things women dream of is being able to eat what they want without judgement. Because that's why she has a perfect figure and flawless skin - so no one can "tut tut" her. At least theoretically - in real life, every single woman gets a "tut tut" at some point in her life. I lost the guilt over food a long time ago, so it doesn't really affect me. If I want a whole slice of cake, I will eat that slice of cake. I've come to terms with being human, and don't really give a shit about anyone else. I have no proto-anorexia, but I think it's a little sad that it shows up in romances so damn frequently. I see it show up in this fandom a lot too. The very
popular idea in fanfic that one end of Sookie is in a trough, and one end is wrapped around Eric.
Like fanfic Sookie, this chick needed more sleep than is healthy. She was put on hold like a dormant robot when Wrath wasn't around, only to be voice activated when he returned. This has no actual meaning, except it doesn't pass the Bechdel Test
. If a woman is only active when a man is in the room, or relevant to the storyline, you've fucked your strong female character. But hey, no surprise there. By God, though, this is lazy-arse writing. I know no one else is going to wonder what she's doing for the four to five hours he's out, but shit, couldn't she just watch TV or embroider or something. Rather than double as one of those creepy sleeping Japanese sex dolls
Of course, I'd suggest friends, but Beth doesn't have those either. She has guys who want to fuck her, but no friends. As evidenced by the groom's side hogging all the seats at the wedding. But one line from the only other female characters made me laugh:
"I've brought a gown for you, in case you don't have one already."
Consider that for a moment, would you? How many of you all had a spare fucking wedding dress
in your closet when you had no boyfriend? And might I point out, she was also an orphan, so it's not as if it would be her Mum's. Lol. I don't know. Maybe there's a bunch of weirdo women out there that just go out and save up for a wedding dress, and then save it for when you actually get married. That's bizarre, and I don't think it happens. After all, the ads I've seen of wedding shows, there's always some sort of drama about buying the dress, but I fully admit to not being terribly interested in weddings and such.
And then to top it all off, this joke of a character accidentally her job. Like one day, it's kidnapped, next day, it's passive aggressive resigning. It was like it never crossed her mind. Despite all the talk about the desperate push, and how good she was at her job, and her dedication, she totally ankled that thing in order to sleep while waiting for Wrath. *Slow clap*
Women everywhere will praise the amount of thought and care Beth put into her ambition and drive, which disappeared into nothingness.
Here I was, thinking there'd at least
be a fight like I see in the majority of Sookie fanfic. But nothing. Now I realise why Sookie always gets a beatdown for thinking about working - she has to be punished for wanting to in the first place. As I said before, nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home wife or mother, but that's not what Beth is. She has that poor eager servant guy, who's glad to be treated like a human being, so she's not actually doing anything other than being a fuck toy. Fuck toy is not my idea of a dream career, which I could talk about my accomplishments. No one in polite society wants to hear about the "Unlocked Achievement: Got another inch of cock down my throat". Which is cool, because Beth is a Nigel-No-Friends.PMR You Missed The Point
Yeah, yeah. I've said it - and heard it said - that the purpose of these books is fapping material. And it had plenty of that - including one memorable scene:
"When he came, he felt like he'd been ripped in two, the bursts of energy creating a
shock wave that went through the room, shaking the furniture, blowing out the candle."
Lol. That shit is stupid. You shouldn't have to reorient the furniture just because you had sex. I'm always stuck by the fact that in scenes like this, the windows are rattling, the expensive heavy furniture is shaking, flames are being extinguished, and yet the sex partner does not seem to get any buffeting. For all of those of you who are fans of the book, maybe this will help you have a new fantasy of what having sex with a guy like this would look like:
You have my loving permission to fantasise to your heart's content about some overly macho slash scene, as long as the orgasm Wrath experiences makes Askars look like this.
To be honest though? I was actually expecting more raunch, and more explicit detail. I can see why CH recently reassured readers of her blog that the gay scene in the latest book would not have explicit information in it. Neither did this one. I'm afraid I'm a jaded horror fan, and have read way too many sex scenes. Plus, at 16, reading Anne Rice and her alternate pen name of A.N. Roquelaure
I expected more porn in this porn. I thought there would be more detail, but personally, it reads to me like the standard format of any romance sex scene. It gets a bit vague in parts, relying on you loving the character of Wrath so much you'll fantasise and fill in the blanks. From the raving, I expected less of the stock standard. I couldn't discern the supposed "hotness" but instead discovered the inherent "blandness".
It was pretty much Beth's entire purpose in the book - to be the thing that has sex with him (let's face it, she was a plot device, not a character), but it was better than the endless over-the-top macho bullshit, back slapping and ritualistic rituals that sucked. I'm just hoping that none of the Rhape Brothers meets his future wife thingie in a supermarket, or shit's going to get messy and children will
be traumatised as they meet and fuck without control in the Fruit Rollups aisle.6. I'm Jerry Springer and this is my Final Thought
Apart from the fact that reading this book gave me an !AHA! moment on the bizarre popularity of some fics - and I'm thinking of a particular one which changed Sookie's height to Beth's - then I thought over all, apart from the glossary (which I did not read) there was not much particularly new about this book that I haven't read a hundred times before.
It was in fact, a little weirder than many vampire books, because I've yet to read - like I did this one - a "Yeehaw" type action from a vampire. One of them slaps his baseball cap on his knee at something Butch says, and I actually wrote "Yeehaw" in my notes. Most of the vampires were dudebros, and the vampire slayer is obviously the creepy OCD nerd. I suppose at least part of the popularity would have to be the perceived "coolness" of these vampires, that I think is pretty mainstream USian-centric type coolness. It's a popular image that the US likes of itself - the surfer dude, the jock or the frat boy. Men like that seem to be the symbols of attainment for girls - that they bagged the cool guy. Throw in a little bit of black on the jocks, and you've got a winning combination. I couldn't really see the attraction for myself, but I do understand why it's attractive to other women.
But one thing I wondered was whether people read all that closely. After all, it seems to me from this quote, that the author insulted all
of her fans, and I've yet to see any mention of the fact that the author seems to have contempt for the same people who give her money:
"Or just as offensive, the fiction is used to create some kind of mystique
for bored humans who think the dark side is a fun place to visit."
I'm absolutely sure here that this line is probably taken by fan as an indictment on everyone else, except them. We see that same sort of exclusionary thinking and denial of fact going on in this fandom too
. Pam calling humans vermin doesn't actually mean the fans reading that fic are thought of as worthless vermin, and so Wrath having contempt to people reading about him is not thought to apply. The fans think of themselves as "on Wrath's side, so he won't hate me" despite the fact that that's a pretty pointed barb
aimed at every single fan. I kinda sat there with my mouth open at the audacity.
So that's how PMR read a BDB book, and it'll be the last one I read. Frankly, apart from the bad proportions, and the gleeful thought of this post, I don't think I could read another with virtually the same story over again. I'm just not burning to know the questions of "Will Beth ever remember she needs to get a life?" or "Will Wrath actually put a stop to the rampant raping, or was he merely referring to not killing anyone, and rape as many as you like?" or "What is the ritualistic form of thanking their King when he takes a shining vampire dump?" Truly, I just don't care to know. Oh, but if you like, I'd love to hear about the stupidest hyperbole orgasm you read, and how many men broke the speed of sound to show that Wrath's furniture shaking is the act of a wimp.